At the moment I am making my way through Proverbs (though I only recently just started) While I might deviate from that if someone directs me to a particular verse or if want to find something because I want God's wisdom in a particular area of my life.

Today I stuck with proverbs, today I started chapter 3 and came to one of my favourite proverbs

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."

~ Proverbs 3:5-6

Tonight I found the same comfort that I always do - that God is with me and he will guide me even when I am not sure. This can be real comfort alot of the time because I often come across things that make me unsure.

However tonight I also looked at these verses in a new way. Often I read it as a whole (which is important) and so I often just am reminded that by trusting in the Lord he will guide me. However it says more than that and tonight what stood out to me was "lean not on your own understanding". This really challenged me. I am mostly a very logical person and I have to reason everything out. I also question most things.

This can be very good but I wonder if God is challenging me to be more trusting of his word and try not to question this as much. This is going to be a challenge because I feel more confident if I have questioned something. I think this needs more prayer and thought - or maybe thats the point - I think to much!!

Tonight I want to share a part of a book I am very slowly reading. Its called "Mister God This is Anna" and its by Fynn (there is no last name given), it was published in 1977 by Fount Paperbacks.
The book is written for the perspective of Fynn, a 19yo young man who takens in a 6yo girl who has run away from an abusive home. The girl, Anna, has an amazing view of the world and of God especially, and this is what the book is about. This section is where Anna is talking to Fynn about God's love.

"So we were in bed, the street lamp lighting up the room, her head cupped in her hands, and both elbows firmly planted on my chest. I waited. She chose to remain like that for about ten minutes, getting her arguement in its proper order, and then she launched forth.
'Mister God made everything, didnt he?'
There was no point in saying that I didnt really know. I said 'Yes'.
'Even the dirt and the stars and the animals and the people and the trees and everything, and the pollywogs?' The pollywogs were those little creatures that we had seen under the microscope.
I said, 'Yes, he made everything'
She nodded her agreement. 'Does Mister God love us truely?'
'Sure thing', I said. 'Mister God loves everything.'
'Oh', she said. 'Well then, why does he let things get hurt and dead?' Her voice sounded as if she felt she had betrayed a sacred trust, but the question had been thought and it had to be spoken.
'I dont know', I replied. 'There's a great many things about Mister God that we don't know about.'
'Well then,' she continued, 'if we don't know many things about Mister God, how do we know he loves us?'
I could see that this was going to be one of those times, but thank goodness she didnt expect an answer to her question for she hurried on: 'Them pollywogs, I could love them till I bust, but they wouldnt know, would they? I'm million times bigger than they are and Mister God is a million times bigger than me, so how do I know what Mister God does?'
She was silent for a little while. Later I thought that at this moment she was taking her last look at babyhood. Then she went on:
'Fynn, Mister God doesn't love us.' she hesitated. 'He doesn't really, you know, only people can love. I love Bossy (Bossy is a cat that is mentioned earlier), but Bossy don't love me. I love the pollywogs, but they don't love me. I love you, Fynn, and you love me, don't you?
I tightened my arm about her.
'You love me because you are people. I love Mister God truely, but he don't love me.'
It sounded to me like a death-knell.'Damn and blast', I thought. 'Why does this have to happen to people? Now she's lost everything.' But I was wrong. She had got both feet planted very firmly on the next stepping-stone.
'No,' she went on, 'no, he don't love me, not like you do, it's different, it's millions of times bigger.'
I must have made some movement or noise for she levered herself upright and sat on her haunches and giggled. Then she launched herself at me and undid my little pang of hurt, cut out the useless spark of jealousy with the delicate sureness of a surgeon.
'Fynn, you can love better than any people that ever was, and so can I, can't I? But Mister God is different. You see, Fynn, people can only love the outside and can only kiss outside, but Mister God can love you right inside, and Mister God can kiss you right inside, so it's different. Mister God ain't like us; we are a little bit like Mister God, but not much yet.'
It seemed to me to reduce itself to the fact that we were like God because of some similarities but God was not like us because of our differences. Her inner fires had refined her ideas, and like some alchemist turned lead into gold. Gone were all the human definitions of God, like Goodness, Mercy, Love and Justice, for these were merely props to describe the indescribable.
'You see, Fynn, Mister God is different from us because he can finish things and we can't. I can't finish loving you because I shall be dead millions of years before I can finish, but Mister God can finish loving you, and so it's not the same kind of love, is it? Even Mister Jether's love is not the same as Mister God's because he only came here to make us remember.'
The first salvo was enough for me; it all needed a bit of thinking about, but I wasnt going to be spared the rest of her artillery.
'Fynn, why do people have fights and wars and things?'
I explained to the best of my aability.
'Fynn, what is the word for when you see it in a different way?'
 After a minute or two scrabbling about, the precise phrase she wanted was dredged out of me, the phrase 'point of view'.
'Fynn that's the difference. You see, everybody has got a point of view, but Mister God hasn't. Mister God has only points to view.'
At this moment my one desire was to get up and go for a long, long walk. What was this child up to? What had she done? In the first place, God could finish things off, I couldn't. I'll accept that, but what did it mean? It seemed to me that she had taken the whole idea of God outside the limitations of time and placed him firmly in the realm of eternity.
What about this difference between between 'a point of view' and 'points to view'? This stumped me, but a little further questioning cleared up the mystery. 'Points to view' was a clumsy term. She meant 'viewing points'. The second salvo had been fired. Humaity in general had an infinite number of points of view, whereas Mister God had infinite number of viewing points. When I put it to her this way and asked her if that was what she meant, she nodded her agreement and then waited to see if I enjoyed the taste. Let me see now. Humanity has unfinite number of points of view. God has infinite number of viewing points. That means that - God is everywhere. I jumped
Anna burst into peals of laughter, 'you see,' she saud, 'you see?' I did too.
'There's another way that Mister God is different.' We obviously hadn't finished yet. 'Mister God can know things and people from the inside too. We only know them from the outside, dont we? So you see, Fynn, people can't talk about Mister God from the outside; you can only talk about Mister God from the inside of him.' " 
(page 39 - 43, of Mister God this is Anna, by Fynn)

Ok so that was longer than I remembered but I think it was important to share. It really made me think about what Love means in human terms and how that is really different from God. I dont think we can truely comprehend God's love because its so much bigger than we are.

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. I did do bible reading today and I also did one on one with Sarah C which also made me think. But both readings were about being wary of worldly things and trying to stay on God's path in a polluted world. That is an important lesson to but with the way I am feeling tonight I wanted to focus on God's infinite love for us.

 Tonight was girls bible study again and we worked through chapter 2 of "Displines of a Godly Woman" by Barbara Hughes. This is all about the importance of the Gospel and how we should really priortise to read it everyday. It is God's word and the way he speaks to us and it is through Jesus, the Spirit and the bible that we are able to be saved.

While this was the message of the chapter I took away something different tonight - I believee there was something else I needed to learn/know and the Holy Spirit guided me in taking that from tonights study. There was actually 2 things I took away, apart from the main message. The first was from something Barbara wrote:

"I will never forget the day fifteen years ago when a young woman named Carol who had received Christ as Savior only a few weeks earlier came to Bible study for a second time. She sat, with her borrowed Bible in her hand, in a circle of women who were well-versed in the Scriptures. Carol quietly listened as the study questions were answered. When there was a lull in the conversation, Carol said with great enthusiasm, 'I found the most wonderful verse last night!" All those Christian women turned their attention to this baby believer. Slowly and reverently she began to read: "For God... so loved... the world... that He... gave.. His one... and only... Son... that whoever... believes... in him... shall not perish... but have eternal life"
The quiet of the room was palpable. She was reading John 3:16 - a verse many believers memorize from childhood and can prattle off in seconds - as it should be read, as each word were a holy treasure. Around the circle eyes began to glisten as Carol's awe of the Gospel laid bare the shame of those of us whose senses had been dulled to its wonder.
Never lose the wonder of the Gospel!"
(page 27-28 of 'Displines of a Godly Woman' by Barbara Hughes)

I wasnt born into a Christian family, I believe I am the only Christian in my family but I found God in 2004 - 6 years ago and while I have wondered away for some of that time, I believe I have tried to follow a Christian path for most of that. Reading this I realised that in the last couple of years my wonder has slowly faded. We need to read God's word through the eyes of a child, with a child's enthusiasm. This is something I need to work on and do and remember - especially while I have been so tired. It is hard to be enthusasitic when you are constantly exahausted.

The other was a more of a reminder - it was a verse that we were refered to and it stuck out to me. God gives us everything we need  - he gives us the strength to get through our struggles.

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness."

~ 2 Peter 1:3

I had someone let me know that they were unable to comment. I believe this has now been fixed

 My mum came and visited for the long weekend - which was wonderful and very busy! She is not one to sit around and relax. She is also not a Christian - I am the only Christian in my family. This made it hard to find time to sit and read my bible. I had great intentions of reading it every day and posting here after my quiet time with God as a way of reflecting.

I still intend on doing that, I just feel a little guilty that it has fallen through so quickly. However, today is a new day, my mum lest this morning and I now have spent some time reading my bible. I think thats the thing with goals. We have these great intentions and then the first time we fail at the them we think whats the point? But they wouldnt be goals if they were so easily obtained. I want to get in a good habit but I have to be honest with myself and realise that there will be times when I fail at it. The important thing is that after failing I pick myself up and try again instead of giving up.

With that in mind I decided to look up perseverance and I stumbled upon Romans 5 which gave me alot of hope and reminded me that God loves me despite all my failings.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, wehave peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but wealso rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."

Romans 5:1-11

Already my good intentions are failing - I did manage to read the bible today but took little from it. The thing is today was a crazy day that I didnt have time to stop. Its now 9:40pm and I have only been sitting for 15 minutes (I havent even eaten dinner yet) in which I read my bible. But I had to fight myself to do it and I was to tired to really understand. Then again I am currently reading proverbs and they arent always easy to understand so it might have been that.

I started one on one bible readings yesterday with a friend, Sarah. I think its going to be really postitive. We started reading James, and then discussed it though we went far from the reading but I think it was lead by the spirit.

Tonight I think I will turn to Matthew where it says:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

~ Matthew 11:28

Last night I was part of a woman's bible study, its the first time I have ever been part of a bible study that only had girls in it but I found it great. We started working through a book "Displines of a Godly Woman" by Barbara Hughes. Check it out at Koorong here. It is an amazing book so far. The first chapter which we did together was basicly an introduction and an explination of what displine is and why it is important.

It described displine in a very different light to how I would normally see it and I think that is a good thing. When I think about displine I usually have very negative connotations to it, however Barbara describes it as a positive thing and something you do out of love for God.

The one lesson in the bible study that really stood out to me was the need to train for God. The best way to look at this is to compare to a athlete. A athlete will spend hours training in order to reach a goal - whether that be reaching the olympics, winning first place or getting a gold medal. In everyday life we do similar things, education is a form of training where the goal is a degree or a promotion, we exercise daily with the aim of becoming or staying fit or looking a particular way. No matter what your goals are, we all spend hours training ourselves to reach them.

However when it comes to the ultimate goal - eternal life with God, how much time do we spend working towards it? When you compare the time you spend working towards worldly goals with what you spend working towards being a better Christian - what comes out on top? For me I found that I really do spend to much time caught up in everyday life. I often find myself thinking - I am too tired to read my bible, or I dont have time to sit and talk to God and this is really the wrong attitude for me to have.

And so I start this blog. When the bible study finished last night and I was thinking all this through I decided that I wanted to make sure I put aside time each day not only to read the bible and talk to God but really focus on what God is trying to tell me and really learning from his word. I also realised that I wanted to reach out to others. This blog is a way for me to start that.

Last night I think we all agreed this powerful verse really summed up the message:

"Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last forever; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."
~ 1 Corinthians 9:25-27